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The World Is Your Oyster – Go Find Yourself A Pearl.
This was one of Mom’s favorite sayings. I don’t think I figured out what that meant until I was a teenager. Then I didn’t want oysters and pearls and allegories or metaphors. Like most teens, I wanted experience and to live my life by my own rules!
Now that I’ve had the opportunity to have that experience I have to thank Mom for cementing that phrase into my mind. It’s actually an important one that carries a lot of meaning for me. However, the deepest meaning for me is that YOU have to go find YOUR pearl – it isn’t going to just fall in your lap nice and easy.
There’s a personal responsibility for providing for one’s own happiness or financial state in there – plain and simple. We weren’t raised to expect things to be easy or given to us, we were raised that life was hard and you got out of it what you put in to it.
Another meaning is to remember to stop and smell the roses (look for the pearls) along the way. Whether it is taking a moment to watch a child at play, watching the clouds drift across a powder blue sky, or watching a spider spin her web, take time to connect with that which is within you, for in doing that you achieve the higher part of yourself.
Don’t forget the connection between pearls and wisdom either! In many of the ancient traditions the pearl is the font of wisdom. The Celts hold the pearl high in their symbolism. Animals depicted with a pearl were said to be wise. “Pearls of wisdom!” Sometimes Mom was intentionally sending me out there, knowing I would fail! She wanted me to know that I can fail and still keep going. She wanted me to understand that just because one thing didn’t work the way it was supposed to, that didn’t mean I got to throw out the whole project and quit. She wanted me to garner the wisdom that application of effort over time normally pays off to your advantage.
Now pearls are a motivation for me. Pearls remind me of Mom and the strength of character with which she lived her life. Pearls are a connection. Pearls are a reminder. What’s your pearl?
Whenever I heard these words from my mother’s lips I knew they would be followed by… “and be happy with it.” My daughter will be happy to acknowledge she probably felt the same way. However, Mom wasn’t wrong. When you take what you get and learn how to be happy with it life seems to be lighter and easier; and, you tend to end up being in an even better place than you thought you would.
Today’s society doesn’t prize this attitude near as much as it was considered a generation ago. In the day of internet connection, blogs (and, yes, I realize this is one), cell phones, instant text messaging (Dick Tracey where are you now?), continual polling and requests for your desires, the emphasis on individual is now paramount.
Now, I’m not saying that is a bad thing. In many respects the individual is allowed to achieve more as a an individual in today’s society without many of the negative ramifications of years past. Yet, at the same time, we seem to be loosing context with the greater whole.
The greater whole is where one learns the higher good of sacrifice one’s personal wants and/or desires for a greater good. Whether its holding your tongue and letting a small slight go when your special someone is having a bad day (i.e. understanding that it’s more a reflection of the the bad day they are having than their true feelings for you) or going out of your way to ensure that an uncomfortable situation is as comfortable as possible, you are working toward a positive end in a positive way.
Taking what you get and being happy with it is almost a foreign concept to many people at this time. Through inability to allow themselves to achieve happiness with what they have and where they are in their path in life (because isn’t that exactly where you’re supposed to be?) many deny themselves the true understanding of the joys found in the moment and in their lives.
Although I hated to hear it when I was growing up, Mom’s addage of take what you get and be happy with it is a mantra we all could remember … both for our own inner happiness and the emotional energy we put out into the world!
After reading for what seems like days, I’m beginning to settle in. Working on three blogs at one time, I’m not sure if I’m a glutton for punishment, or just pushing for over achievement. But, I am starting to settle in. I know there are probably a ton of options, links and more that I need to learn about, but for now, I’m happy that I’m able to post to all three blogs on the first week.
Now I can really get started. This blog, unlike the others I am on, can be a little more personal and revealing about me because here I can state my personal opinion rather than representing an organization or website.
At my Mom’s kitchen table you could talk about anything. You had to do it with no cussing (although her language was, uhm, less than perfect), but you sure could talk about anything. She would encourage our friends to engage in conversation at dinner, she would talk about it all! Back in the ’60’s talking about something like abortion or civil rights with teens was not exactly main stream. But I remember many a lively discussion.
Mom always loved a good debate and wasn’t afraid to take a contrary position just to play devil’s advocate for the sake of argument. I learned a lot at that table. The most important thing I learned there was … to listen. Simply that…to just listen to what was being said.
So as you pull up a chair and grap a cup of coffee or tea, here I invite you to comment on writings, bring up your own topics, ask questions, and, well, fell like you’re at that kitchen table — the one where you knew even if you asked questions about …sex… you would receive honest answers.